11/03/2008
I've been on a flight. Jefry told me that although the flight would take a few days for me, Earth time will have moved on by "many months". Many months? I thought maybe 9 or 10 - it's been 51!
51 months!!!
Frankly though I'm not suprised. Now I've got to catch up with all that happened on Earth in that time! Okay maybe not all, that would be a bit much. I see the internet's changed quite a lot but not much else. Although there's still a lot of porn. I'm sure there'll be a few suprises - the first thing I saw was a cartoon about a site called "Two girls and one cup". Heh.
But now I've got to make a decision. Am I still 36, or am I now 40?! I suspect I am officially 40, but I'll be damned if that 11 day trip has robbed me of youth. I know it's all relative (get it?) but really, I'm not in my 40s! My 41st birthday is next month! But okay then, if I just keep counting my age according to MY reality, when is my birthday? I suppose I could sit and work it out, bu it's not the same. And to be honest, I can't be arsed.
Okay so if I had no readers before I definitely don't have any now! By all rights I should be feeling a bit down; but actually I feel pretty lucky right now. The internet's a hundred times better and I've got over four years of great music to listen to...
I'll be back... to finish my "abduction" story too. Even though nobody is reading it, it is good for my soul. Hell, for all I know this isn't even published online. Andrew, are you reading this?
51 months!!!
Frankly though I'm not suprised. Now I've got to catch up with all that happened on Earth in that time! Okay maybe not all, that would be a bit much. I see the internet's changed quite a lot but not much else. Although there's still a lot of porn. I'm sure there'll be a few suprises - the first thing I saw was a cartoon about a site called "Two girls and one cup". Heh.
But now I've got to make a decision. Am I still 36, or am I now 40?! I suspect I am officially 40, but I'll be damned if that 11 day trip has robbed me of youth. I know it's all relative (get it?) but really, I'm not in my 40s! My 41st birthday is next month! But okay then, if I just keep counting my age according to MY reality, when is my birthday? I suppose I could sit and work it out, bu it's not the same. And to be honest, I can't be arsed.
Okay so if I had no readers before I definitely don't have any now! By all rights I should be feeling a bit down; but actually I feel pretty lucky right now. The internet's a hundred times better and I've got over four years of great music to listen to...
I'll be back... to finish my "abduction" story too. Even though nobody is reading it, it is good for my soul. Hell, for all I know this isn't even published online. Andrew, are you reading this?
08/10/2003
Hello again folks. Today I am going to attempt to give you the rest of the story of my recruitment by the aliens. But I reckon I might need a third instalment.
My friend and unwitting recruiter Andrew had been conscripted into buying for me a subscription to a regular postal newsletter which mostly consisted of cultural-related science fiction stories, astronomy, and philosophically minded articles about mankind and its place in the universe. From this point onwards, a select few others and I were being conditioned for life up here with the aliens, with one – eventually me – to be finally selected. Obviously, the object was not to mould us into something else – what would be the point of having me here if I was to be merely the product of a kind of taming process? The newsletter always consisted of a large brown envelope of A4 paper with articles printed out using a normal PC printer – usually about 40 stapled pages. I understand a small printing company who received copy and payment by wire did the necessary photocopying and posting. The reading matter I initially received was a mixture of previously published and original essays. My alien friends wrote many of these, if not all of them, especially for us.
Connected with the newsletter was an Internet forum on which there were nearly a hundred regulars. Of these, I think about a dozen were other candidates like me; the rest were invented characters. Obviously at this point I had no idea about all of this. I am told that each simulated member of the group was actually a projection of the Mind of an artificial intelligence already running some task up here but also asked to commit a (according to Jefry: vanishingly) small amount of its capacity to this assignment. Jefry has now said to me that he disapproves of the term “artificial intelligence” on the grounds that it would be misleading to most people reading this. He says that although the Minds are created by unnatural methods using material that is not entirely organic, they are treated as living, sentient beings with all the rights and privileges that a naturally born and intelligent creature would receive – despite many Minds not having a pre-defined physical form to speak of. Hence the capital “M” I have now began to use in the name “Mind”. Perhaps it is no surprise that Jefry brings this up: he is after all a Mind himself. Sorry Jefry.
So for almost six years I read the thoughts of, conversed with, and asked questions to over seventy Minds each with an intellect and knowledge beyond anything I could possibly comprehend. The vast majority of these intelligences are older than human civilisation itself. To them I must seem to be an extremely basic but hopefully vastly interesting creature. I don’t want to address the issue of the Minds here now as I hope to write some specific posts about them in the near future. To someone who has studied philosophy, the existence of these beings and the regard they are given is profoundly interesting: more to follow on this folks.
The effect the newsletter and forum had on me was a subtle but definite one, however it seems the aliens had learned a bit about human psychology or more likely my own individual psychology as I found myself responding very enthusiastically to almost everything put in front of me. I contributed to the newsletter with enthusiasm – although my words often appeared in a highly edited form (another form of psychology?). I regularly found myself on the forum having taken a liking to the characters on the board. I found most of the forum members funny, interesting, engaging, and well informed. It is probably not much of a feat for an ancient and super-intelligent Mind to impress a human in his early thirties. I did not find my newfound enthusiasm suspicious at all.
I was encouraged to read particular novels, autobiographies and factual titles (all written by human authors as far as I know), and I went out and bought almost every recommended publication. The issues addressed by these books were very wide ranging, so much so that even now I cannot see why some were pushed onto me except to help me get an all-round educated beyond that which I previously had. Many of the books dealt with loneliness and individuality for obvious reasons. Others were science fiction novels, although most of those specified were difficult to find. The well-known sci-fi books must have been a bit too far off the mark. The science fiction community obviously has a lot of work to do.
The question I have now is how did the Minds know what all these books contained? When I finally had my first contact with the aliens (actually with Jefry who has always acted as their envoy) much later, I was asked to bring along with me all sorts of materials including many books – the first they would get their hands on (they were desperate to get at least one copy of a children’s Encyclopaedia in particular).
After about two years, the forum and the newsletter slowly turned itself to concentrate on getting me used to the concept of my current situation. This is what I meant earlier by subtlety; even with hindsight I find it difficult to form a picture in my mind of the way I was parked in front of the subject of voluntary alien abduction! Regardless, I intimated strongly that it would be a great honour to be the first human to be examined (what other word is there for it?). I think one of the members “innocently” said on the forum that it would be one likely way an organisation of civilisations might quietly learn about a planet-dominating and space-faring species. Obviously, this was not a completely new subject, but rather a contribution to an already existing one. From there, the newsletter, and increasingly the forum, zeroed in on this particular topic. The actual situation of my alien friends was put forward as a fictional premise by a couple of members from which we could base arguments. There were many related threads of conversation that were stretched out over the next three years as I was taken into more and more depth by the Minds leading me along.
As you can see this was a long and drawn out process. But it takes the human mind quite a while to get itself fully round a thing. Every aspect of a human subject’s existence with the aliens was studied including things such as the associated moral, philosophical, practical, cultural, and historical and every other issue you could possibly conceive. Then one day, one of the members – calling himself Total Harry - wrote a long and pretty damn convincing article claiming that he was in fact the representative of an alien culture and that he had engineered the conversation to address the issues he wanted to. For the following months the rest of the group viciously debated the credibility of this claim. By this time, the other candidate humans had long since fallen by the wayside for reasons I do not know. They were probably not as self-obsessed as I am!
I was extremely dubious despite “Harry’s” well-written line of reasoning, but it meant that the Minds could read my opinions in a safer way than had the whole truth been revealed, and it meant the Minds could control my opinion of “Harry’s” claims by forming an argument alongside me. Clearly this was a very careful preparation for my mind – I can put it no other way. Over a bit of time, part of me was becoming suspicious about the group as a whole; I didn’t think “Harry” could be an alien intelligence on his own, but I did think that the group as a whole could be if it was preparing me! One might say that I had guessed the truth, however it was a truth that was deliberately allowed to dawn on me. Even so, I told myself, it was a ridiculous thought to take seriously, but in my mind I thought it would pretty amazing if I was right and I might rightly feel very special indeed.
So for three months I amused myself with the unlikely possibility that I was being singled out for something extraordinarily special and that this huge project was undertaken only to reel me in. It was a bit of luxury thinking that I allowed myself to have even though I didn’t truly believe it. I didn’t think it was implausible, just unbelievably unlikely. Then, during the course of one evening, all of my private thoughts and (what had perhaps become) hopes were spelled out in front of me by the various members of the forum in a series of posts. The contents of my was mind seemingly laid out in front of me like I was a poker player being told about my own hand by my opponents. I was of course flabbergasted – either the various members of the group had all independently become mind readers or they had deliberately conducted my thinking all the way through the previous few months. I was told that they would prove to me that they were in fact all representatives of an advanced alien race and that they would like to ask me to be a subject for study.
What was my reaction? Confusion was strongest and that was mixed with anger and helplessness. Despite being carefully conditioned to hear this suggestion it took me many days to become comfortable with speaking to the Minds after that. I was still not fully convinced that they were who they said they were, but I did feel manipulated. However at this point I had to know and I was intrigued to see how they planned to prove their case to me. I had gotten to know them well and I was not about to cast the previous six years aside. Besides I reckoned I would look pretty stupid if it was all a joke; I considered that perhaps their assessment of my mind was lucky or obvious (it was clearly neither, their descriptions were amazingly accurate and specific).
I was assured then as I am now that the only psychological influence they would have had was to prepare me for what I would hear, my decision making has remained mine alone – unaffected by any psychologically influenced tendency that might have been inflicted upon me. This, I am told, would otherwise be somewhat counter-productive to the concept of studying me. Although I agree with this analysis, these are all issues that were addressed during the years of the newsletter and forum that the Minds participated in with me. So can I trust my own mind on such matters? If I conclude no, then I might as well submit to despair. I would not be an individual but an animal responding in a set manner to the stimuli given to me. In fact I don’t want to go down this road of thinking anymore, as it gives me a headache and makes me slightly upset. The thought that I am so helpless that I might only believe that I control my own mind is too much to bear. I find it ironic that I was the one organic naturally born being in the group and I probably acted much like an automaton: predictable and controllable. All this leaves a lingering question: When did the examination of me begin? At the start of my stay up here in a craft with the automaton representative of a Mind I have named Jefry; or at the start of my membership to the newsletter and forum?
Anyway, I have decided to finish the rest of the beginning of my story next time. Partly because this is dragging on too long and also because I have some thinking to do having written this all out for the first time.
I bid thee farewell my friends until next time.
My friend and unwitting recruiter Andrew had been conscripted into buying for me a subscription to a regular postal newsletter which mostly consisted of cultural-related science fiction stories, astronomy, and philosophically minded articles about mankind and its place in the universe. From this point onwards, a select few others and I were being conditioned for life up here with the aliens, with one – eventually me – to be finally selected. Obviously, the object was not to mould us into something else – what would be the point of having me here if I was to be merely the product of a kind of taming process? The newsletter always consisted of a large brown envelope of A4 paper with articles printed out using a normal PC printer – usually about 40 stapled pages. I understand a small printing company who received copy and payment by wire did the necessary photocopying and posting. The reading matter I initially received was a mixture of previously published and original essays. My alien friends wrote many of these, if not all of them, especially for us.
Connected with the newsletter was an Internet forum on which there were nearly a hundred regulars. Of these, I think about a dozen were other candidates like me; the rest were invented characters. Obviously at this point I had no idea about all of this. I am told that each simulated member of the group was actually a projection of the Mind of an artificial intelligence already running some task up here but also asked to commit a (according to Jefry: vanishingly) small amount of its capacity to this assignment. Jefry has now said to me that he disapproves of the term “artificial intelligence” on the grounds that it would be misleading to most people reading this. He says that although the Minds are created by unnatural methods using material that is not entirely organic, they are treated as living, sentient beings with all the rights and privileges that a naturally born and intelligent creature would receive – despite many Minds not having a pre-defined physical form to speak of. Hence the capital “M” I have now began to use in the name “Mind”. Perhaps it is no surprise that Jefry brings this up: he is after all a Mind himself. Sorry Jefry.
So for almost six years I read the thoughts of, conversed with, and asked questions to over seventy Minds each with an intellect and knowledge beyond anything I could possibly comprehend. The vast majority of these intelligences are older than human civilisation itself. To them I must seem to be an extremely basic but hopefully vastly interesting creature. I don’t want to address the issue of the Minds here now as I hope to write some specific posts about them in the near future. To someone who has studied philosophy, the existence of these beings and the regard they are given is profoundly interesting: more to follow on this folks.
The effect the newsletter and forum had on me was a subtle but definite one, however it seems the aliens had learned a bit about human psychology or more likely my own individual psychology as I found myself responding very enthusiastically to almost everything put in front of me. I contributed to the newsletter with enthusiasm – although my words often appeared in a highly edited form (another form of psychology?). I regularly found myself on the forum having taken a liking to the characters on the board. I found most of the forum members funny, interesting, engaging, and well informed. It is probably not much of a feat for an ancient and super-intelligent Mind to impress a human in his early thirties. I did not find my newfound enthusiasm suspicious at all.
I was encouraged to read particular novels, autobiographies and factual titles (all written by human authors as far as I know), and I went out and bought almost every recommended publication. The issues addressed by these books were very wide ranging, so much so that even now I cannot see why some were pushed onto me except to help me get an all-round educated beyond that which I previously had. Many of the books dealt with loneliness and individuality for obvious reasons. Others were science fiction novels, although most of those specified were difficult to find. The well-known sci-fi books must have been a bit too far off the mark. The science fiction community obviously has a lot of work to do.
The question I have now is how did the Minds know what all these books contained? When I finally had my first contact with the aliens (actually with Jefry who has always acted as their envoy) much later, I was asked to bring along with me all sorts of materials including many books – the first they would get their hands on (they were desperate to get at least one copy of a children’s Encyclopaedia in particular).
After about two years, the forum and the newsletter slowly turned itself to concentrate on getting me used to the concept of my current situation. This is what I meant earlier by subtlety; even with hindsight I find it difficult to form a picture in my mind of the way I was parked in front of the subject of voluntary alien abduction! Regardless, I intimated strongly that it would be a great honour to be the first human to be examined (what other word is there for it?). I think one of the members “innocently” said on the forum that it would be one likely way an organisation of civilisations might quietly learn about a planet-dominating and space-faring species. Obviously, this was not a completely new subject, but rather a contribution to an already existing one. From there, the newsletter, and increasingly the forum, zeroed in on this particular topic. The actual situation of my alien friends was put forward as a fictional premise by a couple of members from which we could base arguments. There were many related threads of conversation that were stretched out over the next three years as I was taken into more and more depth by the Minds leading me along.
As you can see this was a long and drawn out process. But it takes the human mind quite a while to get itself fully round a thing. Every aspect of a human subject’s existence with the aliens was studied including things such as the associated moral, philosophical, practical, cultural, and historical and every other issue you could possibly conceive. Then one day, one of the members – calling himself Total Harry - wrote a long and pretty damn convincing article claiming that he was in fact the representative of an alien culture and that he had engineered the conversation to address the issues he wanted to. For the following months the rest of the group viciously debated the credibility of this claim. By this time, the other candidate humans had long since fallen by the wayside for reasons I do not know. They were probably not as self-obsessed as I am!
I was extremely dubious despite “Harry’s” well-written line of reasoning, but it meant that the Minds could read my opinions in a safer way than had the whole truth been revealed, and it meant the Minds could control my opinion of “Harry’s” claims by forming an argument alongside me. Clearly this was a very careful preparation for my mind – I can put it no other way. Over a bit of time, part of me was becoming suspicious about the group as a whole; I didn’t think “Harry” could be an alien intelligence on his own, but I did think that the group as a whole could be if it was preparing me! One might say that I had guessed the truth, however it was a truth that was deliberately allowed to dawn on me. Even so, I told myself, it was a ridiculous thought to take seriously, but in my mind I thought it would pretty amazing if I was right and I might rightly feel very special indeed.
So for three months I amused myself with the unlikely possibility that I was being singled out for something extraordinarily special and that this huge project was undertaken only to reel me in. It was a bit of luxury thinking that I allowed myself to have even though I didn’t truly believe it. I didn’t think it was implausible, just unbelievably unlikely. Then, during the course of one evening, all of my private thoughts and (what had perhaps become) hopes were spelled out in front of me by the various members of the forum in a series of posts. The contents of my was mind seemingly laid out in front of me like I was a poker player being told about my own hand by my opponents. I was of course flabbergasted – either the various members of the group had all independently become mind readers or they had deliberately conducted my thinking all the way through the previous few months. I was told that they would prove to me that they were in fact all representatives of an advanced alien race and that they would like to ask me to be a subject for study.
What was my reaction? Confusion was strongest and that was mixed with anger and helplessness. Despite being carefully conditioned to hear this suggestion it took me many days to become comfortable with speaking to the Minds after that. I was still not fully convinced that they were who they said they were, but I did feel manipulated. However at this point I had to know and I was intrigued to see how they planned to prove their case to me. I had gotten to know them well and I was not about to cast the previous six years aside. Besides I reckoned I would look pretty stupid if it was all a joke; I considered that perhaps their assessment of my mind was lucky or obvious (it was clearly neither, their descriptions were amazingly accurate and specific).
I was assured then as I am now that the only psychological influence they would have had was to prepare me for what I would hear, my decision making has remained mine alone – unaffected by any psychologically influenced tendency that might have been inflicted upon me. This, I am told, would otherwise be somewhat counter-productive to the concept of studying me. Although I agree with this analysis, these are all issues that were addressed during the years of the newsletter and forum that the Minds participated in with me. So can I trust my own mind on such matters? If I conclude no, then I might as well submit to despair. I would not be an individual but an animal responding in a set manner to the stimuli given to me. In fact I don’t want to go down this road of thinking anymore, as it gives me a headache and makes me slightly upset. The thought that I am so helpless that I might only believe that I control my own mind is too much to bear. I find it ironic that I was the one organic naturally born being in the group and I probably acted much like an automaton: predictable and controllable. All this leaves a lingering question: When did the examination of me begin? At the start of my stay up here in a craft with the automaton representative of a Mind I have named Jefry; or at the start of my membership to the newsletter and forum?
Anyway, I have decided to finish the rest of the beginning of my story next time. Partly because this is dragging on too long and also because I have some thinking to do having written this all out for the first time.
I bid thee farewell my friends until next time.
30/09/2003
Greetings friends. These last few days have contained frantic engineering work for my hosts. The only reason I even know anything about this is because I was denied Internet privileges among other things. So, frustratingly, I have been staring at the automated entry written on my behalf for a while and a hit counter that has been relating to me that interest in the site remains at a particular low. At least I’ve been allowed to set up an email address so I could arrange to join some web rings - although I still will not be allowed to use the email address for correspondence.
The problem I’ve been told was energy related. One of the many individual crafts that make up our caravan of ships had some sort of minor catastrophe by all accounts. Nothing disastrous (although they could just be saying this – I only have their word to go on), however my hosts clicked into a kind of regenerative mode where non-essential tasks were suspended. As I have intimated before, Jefry’s use of language is very interesting when it comes to explaining operations to me. In this case, he doesn’t seem to show any preference towards using the singular or plural when discussing the fleet. From the way he speaks, and from other things I have noticed, I would say that the fleet of ships (of which mine is part) is at the same time both a number of distinct bodies and a single type of organism – much like a brain is a single organ but also consists of a number of cells that make up the whole. When one craft is affected by something, so are all it seems. Although I would suggest it is a lot more sophisticated than this.
Clearly it is a weakness if all the parts can be stricken by the failure of a single part; in this case a problem with a single craft caused the rest of the fleet to compromise its activities in some way – but probably only because the main fleet was providing the means to mend the problem. Jefry informs me that the crafts that make up the fleet could operate individually, in pairs, in threes and so on. The bigger the number of craft there are the more secure all concerned are, and the greater the sum of the capability of all. In our case, we have over seventy craft – the majority of which host only automation or equipment.
It is understandable why Jefry is cautious with his language. My mind tends to think of our “fleet” as a number of autonomous craft collected together to create a whole. However the way the aliens probably see it is that the individual parts are simply all of one craft. The fact that space literally separates the parts does not mean that they are merely a collection of participants. The difference between “many” and “one” seems to be a matter of perspective. After all a wooden table may consist of countless atoms however, much like our little space ships, the atoms do not touch each other. In reality the solid-looking table is mostly empty space separating lots of components - yet we do not look at a table and think of it as anything more than a single thing. From what I understand, the seventy or so separate ships are in fact just the one ship built to operate for the single cause that is embarked upon (in this case learning about our wonderful planet). I wonder if this thinking gives us a clue to the type of species my alien friends are? I find myself thinking of The Borg from the ridiculously idealistic but wonderfully detailed television series Star Trek. Luckily I have as yet found no sign of malevolence or hive-like indifference, but I remain cautious just in case!
Obviously communication between the crafts is vital and so if one is compromised, then obviously that might mean a link in a chain is broken. If you remember my first real entry in which I spoke about sunrise time and the juxtaposition of the crafts, this all seems to make sense. So with this in mind I ensured I kept a close eye on the amount of sun I received and when I received it. Not easy to judge let me tell you when virtually every condition I experience is an artificial one created for me by beings who may or may not want me to know the truth about something. Luckily I have a wristwatch and a trusty pencil and paper (something that’s mine and which I can touch and use without the possibility of manipulation) and sure enough sunrise occurred about six minutes later than it should have done for me. Just to make sure I asked Jefry who confirmed this was the case.
And so I continue on here monitoring the world whilst I am monitored with probably huge curiosity by a species that is almost certainly beyond my imagination. And I, despite being quite literally being kept in the dark, struggle to understand them. It seems to me that we are in a kind of upward spiral of curiosity – each trying hard to work each other out and as we both explore in more detail, we learn more and more. And that is why I am being allowed to write this weblog. As a template to judge my mind, what better than getting me to struggle to understand the situations I am place within? And this has to be published on the net or why else would I bother taking it seriously? So did the energy crisis really happen or was it a charade designed to test me out? I’m leaning towards the theory that it was a kind of test. In which case do I also need to doubt all the associated explanations offered to me by Jefry? I think at least these are true – much of it I knew before and to some extent I have witnessed most of the things I have been told about. The problem with the craft though I remain dubious about. But if that is the way they play than let them play…
I was going to use this entry to continue the story of my recruitment to this position. This is a story I will complete soon so I encourage you to continue visiting. Until next time my friends I hope all remains well over there and just promise you will think of me from time to time away from this page.
The problem I’ve been told was energy related. One of the many individual crafts that make up our caravan of ships had some sort of minor catastrophe by all accounts. Nothing disastrous (although they could just be saying this – I only have their word to go on), however my hosts clicked into a kind of regenerative mode where non-essential tasks were suspended. As I have intimated before, Jefry’s use of language is very interesting when it comes to explaining operations to me. In this case, he doesn’t seem to show any preference towards using the singular or plural when discussing the fleet. From the way he speaks, and from other things I have noticed, I would say that the fleet of ships (of which mine is part) is at the same time both a number of distinct bodies and a single type of organism – much like a brain is a single organ but also consists of a number of cells that make up the whole. When one craft is affected by something, so are all it seems. Although I would suggest it is a lot more sophisticated than this.
Clearly it is a weakness if all the parts can be stricken by the failure of a single part; in this case a problem with a single craft caused the rest of the fleet to compromise its activities in some way – but probably only because the main fleet was providing the means to mend the problem. Jefry informs me that the crafts that make up the fleet could operate individually, in pairs, in threes and so on. The bigger the number of craft there are the more secure all concerned are, and the greater the sum of the capability of all. In our case, we have over seventy craft – the majority of which host only automation or equipment.
It is understandable why Jefry is cautious with his language. My mind tends to think of our “fleet” as a number of autonomous craft collected together to create a whole. However the way the aliens probably see it is that the individual parts are simply all of one craft. The fact that space literally separates the parts does not mean that they are merely a collection of participants. The difference between “many” and “one” seems to be a matter of perspective. After all a wooden table may consist of countless atoms however, much like our little space ships, the atoms do not touch each other. In reality the solid-looking table is mostly empty space separating lots of components - yet we do not look at a table and think of it as anything more than a single thing. From what I understand, the seventy or so separate ships are in fact just the one ship built to operate for the single cause that is embarked upon (in this case learning about our wonderful planet). I wonder if this thinking gives us a clue to the type of species my alien friends are? I find myself thinking of The Borg from the ridiculously idealistic but wonderfully detailed television series Star Trek. Luckily I have as yet found no sign of malevolence or hive-like indifference, but I remain cautious just in case!
Obviously communication between the crafts is vital and so if one is compromised, then obviously that might mean a link in a chain is broken. If you remember my first real entry in which I spoke about sunrise time and the juxtaposition of the crafts, this all seems to make sense. So with this in mind I ensured I kept a close eye on the amount of sun I received and when I received it. Not easy to judge let me tell you when virtually every condition I experience is an artificial one created for me by beings who may or may not want me to know the truth about something. Luckily I have a wristwatch and a trusty pencil and paper (something that’s mine and which I can touch and use without the possibility of manipulation) and sure enough sunrise occurred about six minutes later than it should have done for me. Just to make sure I asked Jefry who confirmed this was the case.
And so I continue on here monitoring the world whilst I am monitored with probably huge curiosity by a species that is almost certainly beyond my imagination. And I, despite being quite literally being kept in the dark, struggle to understand them. It seems to me that we are in a kind of upward spiral of curiosity – each trying hard to work each other out and as we both explore in more detail, we learn more and more. And that is why I am being allowed to write this weblog. As a template to judge my mind, what better than getting me to struggle to understand the situations I am place within? And this has to be published on the net or why else would I bother taking it seriously? So did the energy crisis really happen or was it a charade designed to test me out? I’m leaning towards the theory that it was a kind of test. In which case do I also need to doubt all the associated explanations offered to me by Jefry? I think at least these are true – much of it I knew before and to some extent I have witnessed most of the things I have been told about. The problem with the craft though I remain dubious about. But if that is the way they play than let them play…
I was going to use this entry to continue the story of my recruitment to this position. This is a story I will complete soon so I encourage you to continue visiting. Until next time my friends I hope all remains well over there and just promise you will think of me from time to time away from this page.
24/09/2003
This is a response written on behalf of the human BY. Due to a variety of reasons, our link with the Internet is under a great amount of strain. As a result, BY has not been able to send information into the Internet - although he has been able to view sites as usual. Normal service should resume here soon.
10/09/2003
Well here I am again folks. You may have noticed that I have added a hit counter at the bottom. I need to join a web-ring or something to promote this site somehow; as it is, it is unlikely that many will see this. I spent the last bit of time I had online correcting errors on this page – I want to make this page nice to look at and easy to read. I’m sure I’ll be spending much of my time doing that and looking for ways to promote this site online. This is difficult to do seeing as I am forbidden to use email or write in any forums. I have tried to join up to a couple of web-rings, but each time they have demanded an email address and I am unable to provide one.
In this entry I am going to embark on the story of how I am up here. I cannot say too much about who I am, but I will tell you some mostly accurate descriptions about how I was contacted and the events leading up to my stay here. In later instalments I will describe the role of my hosts and the reasons they are here. Also I will go into more detailed descriptions of the things up here including Jefry. I do not know everything myself yet. During the current period of my stay here they are studying me and I am helping them learn about humans and Earth. Later I will be taught about them and the rest of the known civilisation outside of Earth.
I guess I am going to become an authority on extra-terrestrials and through me (partly) the rest of the world can become enlightened. Although my future when I get back to Earth is something that fills me with worry and concern. How will I be regarded? So very many human minds are unwilling to hear anything outside of their own beliefs. I do very often feel homesick, but everything seems so uncertain. The nature of this whole affair suggests that all will change upon my return, but I’m betting some things will remain stubbornly fixed. When I consider my future on Earth I feel nothing but dread; when I remember my past on Earth it feels like I am remembering the story of an enjoyable and charming film. The present on Earth already feels like the past to me.
This whole thing started eleven years ago although I had no idea at the beginning. I was a member of a social organisation (it is pretty well known but Jefry insists I do not name it) that I regarded at the time as something I was only vaguely interested in. I received several invitations from another member I will call Johanna who was organising a meeting in a local bar. Perhaps rather rudely I did not reply the first few times; later I only replied in order to turn the offer down. Finally I got a phone call from Johanna saying she was eager to get everyone in the area to meet up and she would be grateful if I could turn up for at least one of the meetings if I had the time. Faced with this personal contact I had to say that I would try to come. Along came the appointed day and at the time I was sitting at home with nothing to do, so I decided to wander into town and join the meeting. It was nothing particularly remarkable, but I enjoyed myself and from then on I attended meetings with the group when I was available.
It was an intelligent crowd of usually between ten and twenty of us. We often discussed culture, philosophy, politics, science, sport and anything else that peaked our interest. I made friends and in particular one elderly chap who I will call Andrew. It was Andrew who was to be my first contact with the aliens who now look after me. I naively assumed in my very first entry on this Weblog that Andrew was not human as I was told that I am the first person to have been contacted. After I wrote that, Jefry explained it to me more accurately. Andrew was human of course, but he never really knew just whom he was dealing with.
He believed he was taking part in a piece of social research along with me and the other people we regularly met up with. He thought that we were knowing participants in a game that we had previously volunteered for and which was prepared by our organisation. The game was one in which any of us could have been a recruiter for an alien civilisation looking for a contact, but none of us would know who. Each of us would elect the people they thought would be the ideal candidates to represent humanity and why. Out of all of us however, Andrew was the only one playing.
Apparently I was only his second choice, but I don’t think that matters too much. We were not the only group subjected to this manipulation; this same game was taking place in hundreds of similar groups around the world. Johanna would have had no idea – presumably had she been less eager to contact me or had stopped organising our meetings, somebody else from some other place would be sitting here now. I also expect that many other “Andrew’s” would have dismissed the game as ridiculous and so many other candidates would have fallen by the wayside. Once the candidates were put forward and analysed by my alien friends, they picked 165 us who they then scrutinised further. Everything we did via our modems was examined, from our Internet usage to our emails. They studied me for nearly three years backdating from the beginning of our group’s meetings at the bar. Again, if I had stopped using my computer to surf the Internet none of this would have happened to me. I’m not sure what they were looking for; perhaps only that I would be able to cope with the mental stresses of this life and that I was not untypical an example of humankind.
Andrew continued to act as an apparently unknowing agent between the aliens and me, or at least he never knew they were genuine rather than fictional. Andrew would set me little tests, which I mostly relished doing – I thought it was all a great laugh. Andrew would oversee every social and physical test done on me away from the computer and would report his findings and opinions to the aliens via his PC. I would find myself in situations that I had no idea were engineered. Leading Andrew along would have been a far more difficult task for the aliens than it was to dupe me. After a few weeks, Andrew was fooled into believing he was employed part time by the government and was told to continue his concern with me. The ‘alien recruitment’ angle was never supposed to have been taken seriously by him. He really did get paid, and he would have been satisfied that he was doing something interesting and secretive I’ll bet. He would have seen it as the real explanation for the game he had been previously involved in – he must have guessed there was something more to it all. It is clever tactics: wave the truth in front of someone’s nose and make them think it is a charade - then satisfy them with the lie. Andrew never met any government employer; it was all done via the Internet. But I’m sure he never suspected a thing.
Meanwhile I was being tested online with word, number and picture tests. Very much like those conceptual tests you can find around on the Internet. That was the aliens testing me directly. Since the only real link the aliens have with us is via the Internet, this is no surprise. I was being prepared and being studied, as were a number of others – all unsuspecting. I have asked Jefry what they would do if we had no Internet. Nothing more than monitor any broadcasting and communications and send the odd probe to look at biology. Only with a world wide net can they put information back into a society reliably and anonymously (although Jefry says a microwave communications link is easy fodder for sending information, but most unsatisfactory compared to a network of computers of unlimited size).
In my next entry I will tell you the next part of my story – hopefully I will get up to the bit where I actually leave the Earth. In the meantime I bid you farewell for now my friends.
In this entry I am going to embark on the story of how I am up here. I cannot say too much about who I am, but I will tell you some mostly accurate descriptions about how I was contacted and the events leading up to my stay here. In later instalments I will describe the role of my hosts and the reasons they are here. Also I will go into more detailed descriptions of the things up here including Jefry. I do not know everything myself yet. During the current period of my stay here they are studying me and I am helping them learn about humans and Earth. Later I will be taught about them and the rest of the known civilisation outside of Earth.
I guess I am going to become an authority on extra-terrestrials and through me (partly) the rest of the world can become enlightened. Although my future when I get back to Earth is something that fills me with worry and concern. How will I be regarded? So very many human minds are unwilling to hear anything outside of their own beliefs. I do very often feel homesick, but everything seems so uncertain. The nature of this whole affair suggests that all will change upon my return, but I’m betting some things will remain stubbornly fixed. When I consider my future on Earth I feel nothing but dread; when I remember my past on Earth it feels like I am remembering the story of an enjoyable and charming film. The present on Earth already feels like the past to me.
This whole thing started eleven years ago although I had no idea at the beginning. I was a member of a social organisation (it is pretty well known but Jefry insists I do not name it) that I regarded at the time as something I was only vaguely interested in. I received several invitations from another member I will call Johanna who was organising a meeting in a local bar. Perhaps rather rudely I did not reply the first few times; later I only replied in order to turn the offer down. Finally I got a phone call from Johanna saying she was eager to get everyone in the area to meet up and she would be grateful if I could turn up for at least one of the meetings if I had the time. Faced with this personal contact I had to say that I would try to come. Along came the appointed day and at the time I was sitting at home with nothing to do, so I decided to wander into town and join the meeting. It was nothing particularly remarkable, but I enjoyed myself and from then on I attended meetings with the group when I was available.
It was an intelligent crowd of usually between ten and twenty of us. We often discussed culture, philosophy, politics, science, sport and anything else that peaked our interest. I made friends and in particular one elderly chap who I will call Andrew. It was Andrew who was to be my first contact with the aliens who now look after me. I naively assumed in my very first entry on this Weblog that Andrew was not human as I was told that I am the first person to have been contacted. After I wrote that, Jefry explained it to me more accurately. Andrew was human of course, but he never really knew just whom he was dealing with.
He believed he was taking part in a piece of social research along with me and the other people we regularly met up with. He thought that we were knowing participants in a game that we had previously volunteered for and which was prepared by our organisation. The game was one in which any of us could have been a recruiter for an alien civilisation looking for a contact, but none of us would know who. Each of us would elect the people they thought would be the ideal candidates to represent humanity and why. Out of all of us however, Andrew was the only one playing.
Apparently I was only his second choice, but I don’t think that matters too much. We were not the only group subjected to this manipulation; this same game was taking place in hundreds of similar groups around the world. Johanna would have had no idea – presumably had she been less eager to contact me or had stopped organising our meetings, somebody else from some other place would be sitting here now. I also expect that many other “Andrew’s” would have dismissed the game as ridiculous and so many other candidates would have fallen by the wayside. Once the candidates were put forward and analysed by my alien friends, they picked 165 us who they then scrutinised further. Everything we did via our modems was examined, from our Internet usage to our emails. They studied me for nearly three years backdating from the beginning of our group’s meetings at the bar. Again, if I had stopped using my computer to surf the Internet none of this would have happened to me. I’m not sure what they were looking for; perhaps only that I would be able to cope with the mental stresses of this life and that I was not untypical an example of humankind.
Andrew continued to act as an apparently unknowing agent between the aliens and me, or at least he never knew they were genuine rather than fictional. Andrew would set me little tests, which I mostly relished doing – I thought it was all a great laugh. Andrew would oversee every social and physical test done on me away from the computer and would report his findings and opinions to the aliens via his PC. I would find myself in situations that I had no idea were engineered. Leading Andrew along would have been a far more difficult task for the aliens than it was to dupe me. After a few weeks, Andrew was fooled into believing he was employed part time by the government and was told to continue his concern with me. The ‘alien recruitment’ angle was never supposed to have been taken seriously by him. He really did get paid, and he would have been satisfied that he was doing something interesting and secretive I’ll bet. He would have seen it as the real explanation for the game he had been previously involved in – he must have guessed there was something more to it all. It is clever tactics: wave the truth in front of someone’s nose and make them think it is a charade - then satisfy them with the lie. Andrew never met any government employer; it was all done via the Internet. But I’m sure he never suspected a thing.
Meanwhile I was being tested online with word, number and picture tests. Very much like those conceptual tests you can find around on the Internet. That was the aliens testing me directly. Since the only real link the aliens have with us is via the Internet, this is no surprise. I was being prepared and being studied, as were a number of others – all unsuspecting. I have asked Jefry what they would do if we had no Internet. Nothing more than monitor any broadcasting and communications and send the odd probe to look at biology. Only with a world wide net can they put information back into a society reliably and anonymously (although Jefry says a microwave communications link is easy fodder for sending information, but most unsatisfactory compared to a network of computers of unlimited size).
In my next entry I will tell you the next part of my story – hopefully I will get up to the bit where I actually leave the Earth. In the meantime I bid you farewell for now my friends.
26/08/2003
It's 17:56 GMT as I write this. I am not online as I type; I plan to write this entry and then post my final draft so hopefully I should avoid the spelling mistakes this time. Although having said that if I'm not sure about the spelling of a word I only have Jefry to ask and who knows where he gets his information. Some equivalent of a mainframe I suppose.
My craft positions itself so I receive the same amount of sunlight time that I would get in my home of south-east England so I think the craft will dip behind Mars or one of it's moons at just a touch after 19:00 on my clock. I will then be shielded from the Sun's light until about 05:10 tomorrow (there is a curtain effect provided for the mornings believe it or not). I only know the "sunrise" time because I just asked Jefry although I find it fascinating that Jefry reckons he can only give me a time accurate to within six minutes. Now I always thought that we meagre humans could predict the times of celestial events like that to within seconds or less. Lest a species that has mastered intergalactic space flight and who are actually controlling where my vessel sits! Jefry says about this, and here's an actual quote: "It's a bit complicated."
I presume those are the first words ever published on Earth from an alien civilisation! You couldn't make it up! although I suspect those reading this would beg to differ. Surely everyone reading this thinks this is fiction. I'm not allowed to use email, or contact anyone directly, even as an anonymous person on a message board; but I'd love to advertise this weblog somehow so my stay here is noticed by someone. I guess whether anyone believes my words doesn't matter in the long run and I hope and assume the truth will eventually be revealed. I still find it amazing that despite those rules, I have been, not just allowed but asked, to publish this. I'm sure you could understand my doubts about its real existence on the Internet.
Anyway, I think the reason they cannot predict the exact position of my craft at a given time in the future may be because of the importance of the juxtaposition of all the separate crafts in our little fleet. At writing these words, Jefry has given a snigger of affirmation. But exactly why is a question that probably is a bit complicated "I couldn't even begin to imagine at a guess I'll bet. No probably not, I'm told.
I should write some words about my "PC". Jefry has fashioned a keyboard and a mouse and has approximated a simple Word Processor program. I could of course simply dictate, but I'm used to this way of writing things. As I write this, Jefry has just pulled up a version of someone's hard drive from Earth! And I'm finding myself using Word and Windows XP without warning! I'm sure there's a legal issue here! I know he's only doing all this stuff on the screen to mess with my mind. An alien robot with a crafty sense of humour, it's everything I need...
Anyway ignoring all the squiggly red and green lines that I now look upon I will continue. My monitor is actually part of the inside wall of my craft, although it looks as though it is a few inches in front of me rather than a few feet. It's a bit disconcerting to say the least. I've been trying to work out whether my eyes are focusing near, at where the image appears to be, or far, at where the actual wall surface is. I put my hand in front of me to work it out every now and then, or look at a familiar piece of furniture, and my eyes go funny for an instant before focusing correctly. It gives me eyestrain if I use the computer for too long. The more cynical part of me suspects that this difficult viewing situation is a deliberate ploy to let them limit my Internet usage without the danger of getting me too upset about it. But that is terribly cynical.
I've also been trying to suss out whether my keyboard and my mouse are made from plastic or metal. At first I thought that this was some alien material with unfamiliar properties. However I'm assured that all the stuff that has been produced for me has been fashioned out of raw materials farmed recently from within the area around this part of the Solar System. Apparently it took my friends several attempts to achieve a working and stable computer system that could interface with what we have on Earth.
I'm getting pretty close to my word limit for this entry. I want to tell you about Jefry at some point but I'm not sure where I should start. The most important thing I want to write about is why these visitors have travelled here. It's not the predictable reasons that are usually banded about when people are imagining this sort of scenario, but the reasoning is both believable and reasonable. Before I begin to write every entry, I am having a lengthy chat with Jefry about what my topics are to be. I have some interesting things I want to say, and I have gained an interesting perspective of our world from up here. It is something I really want to share. I follow world news closely up here; it is very interesting to take in news when you an observer from far away. I usually forget what day of the week it is. Such things are terrestrial events anyway.
My craft positions itself so I receive the same amount of sunlight time that I would get in my home of south-east England so I think the craft will dip behind Mars or one of it's moons at just a touch after 19:00 on my clock. I will then be shielded from the Sun's light until about 05:10 tomorrow (there is a curtain effect provided for the mornings believe it or not). I only know the "sunrise" time because I just asked Jefry although I find it fascinating that Jefry reckons he can only give me a time accurate to within six minutes. Now I always thought that we meagre humans could predict the times of celestial events like that to within seconds or less. Lest a species that has mastered intergalactic space flight and who are actually controlling where my vessel sits! Jefry says about this, and here's an actual quote: "It's a bit complicated."
I presume those are the first words ever published on Earth from an alien civilisation! You couldn't make it up! although I suspect those reading this would beg to differ. Surely everyone reading this thinks this is fiction. I'm not allowed to use email, or contact anyone directly, even as an anonymous person on a message board; but I'd love to advertise this weblog somehow so my stay here is noticed by someone. I guess whether anyone believes my words doesn't matter in the long run and I hope and assume the truth will eventually be revealed. I still find it amazing that despite those rules, I have been, not just allowed but asked, to publish this. I'm sure you could understand my doubts about its real existence on the Internet.
Anyway, I think the reason they cannot predict the exact position of my craft at a given time in the future may be because of the importance of the juxtaposition of all the separate crafts in our little fleet. At writing these words, Jefry has given a snigger of affirmation. But exactly why is a question that probably is a bit complicated "I couldn't even begin to imagine at a guess I'll bet. No probably not, I'm told.
I should write some words about my "PC". Jefry has fashioned a keyboard and a mouse and has approximated a simple Word Processor program. I could of course simply dictate, but I'm used to this way of writing things. As I write this, Jefry has just pulled up a version of someone's hard drive from Earth! And I'm finding myself using Word and Windows XP without warning! I'm sure there's a legal issue here! I know he's only doing all this stuff on the screen to mess with my mind. An alien robot with a crafty sense of humour, it's everything I need...
Anyway ignoring all the squiggly red and green lines that I now look upon I will continue. My monitor is actually part of the inside wall of my craft, although it looks as though it is a few inches in front of me rather than a few feet. It's a bit disconcerting to say the least. I've been trying to work out whether my eyes are focusing near, at where the image appears to be, or far, at where the actual wall surface is. I put my hand in front of me to work it out every now and then, or look at a familiar piece of furniture, and my eyes go funny for an instant before focusing correctly. It gives me eyestrain if I use the computer for too long. The more cynical part of me suspects that this difficult viewing situation is a deliberate ploy to let them limit my Internet usage without the danger of getting me too upset about it. But that is terribly cynical.
I've also been trying to suss out whether my keyboard and my mouse are made from plastic or metal. At first I thought that this was some alien material with unfamiliar properties. However I'm assured that all the stuff that has been produced for me has been fashioned out of raw materials farmed recently from within the area around this part of the Solar System. Apparently it took my friends several attempts to achieve a working and stable computer system that could interface with what we have on Earth.
I'm getting pretty close to my word limit for this entry. I want to tell you about Jefry at some point but I'm not sure where I should start. The most important thing I want to write about is why these visitors have travelled here. It's not the predictable reasons that are usually banded about when people are imagining this sort of scenario, but the reasoning is both believable and reasonable. Before I begin to write every entry, I am having a lengthy chat with Jefry about what my topics are to be. I have some interesting things I want to say, and I have gained an interesting perspective of our world from up here. It is something I really want to share. I follow world news closely up here; it is very interesting to take in news when you an observer from far away. I usually forget what day of the week it is. Such things are terrestrial events anyway.
21/08/2003
Well, I only have a few minutes before I am unable to post anymore but this is the first entry of my weblog which I am fervently hoping has not just been given to me as an illusion. I've been told this blog is mine and it will get published on the Internet. I guess it will because I have Internet access and I will check, but it would be easy for my hosts to fool me. I've been here for about 3 months now; although the time here and the time on Earth (I have got a clock and a calender thank you very much) seem to be a few days out now - I assume because I have been moving around at high speeds at various times.
Apologies if this first entry is brief and vague, but I only got told I can do this today. I will write a longer explanation of who I am, where I am, and anything else I can say next time. Previously I have agreed to not attempt to make any outside contact. I haven't tried, but even if I had I've no doubt my signal would have been intercepted. I've not met my alien hosts and I'm beginning to doubt I ever will. I want to stress I am up here VOLUNTARILY. I am 36 years old and made my excuses to my close friends and family and went off after being invited. The contact I first had was with who I thought was a human (and who I can only now assume was not, as I'm told I'm the first terrestrial being to have been made contact with. It's an enormous enormous honour without doubt). I am on my own vessel close to a small-sized fleet of vehicles. I am looked after by an automaton whom I have named Jefry - the last song I heard on Earth was a Pixies song which has the line 'Jefry with one f', and it stuck in my head. Jefry is amazing - very friendly and open. He shares his mind with my ship, so I suppose he is the ship/craft/vessel/whatever (Jefry doesn't attach English names to things very readily, I suppose it's up to me to label things for myself, and I suspect they take great interest in how I do it) I don't have any windows in my craft (which is a fair size - maybe about as big as a 5-a-side football/soccer pitch) but the walls are able to produce any image like a versartile television screen. If I want I can make the walls seem to disappear so it looks as though all the funiture is floating in space near along with me. Alongside us is the planet Mars which looks absolutely beautiful. I've been staring at it for over 12 weeks now and I can feel no sign of ever getting bored.
My time is running short. We are connected to the Internet - it seems the best way the aliens can tap into human society - but not for very long periods (well, not for me anyway). Obviously I don't expect many peole to read this. It is more of an excersise for me really; maybe this blog will become well known and people will wonder if this is made-up or not; or more likely assume it is. Either way I'm not expecting shockwaves to be spread around the world upon the publication of this like there should be. But this is just a bunch of words on an Internet site - like science fiction I suppose. Even I doubt if this is real sometimes - maybe I'm caught in a bizaare experiment and I'm in some lab in Birmingham somewhere. Fuck, if that's true there have been some amazing developments that are being kept secret. I wish I could publish photos; but then perhaps this wont look like a story any more and will make more of a splash than my hosts would like. As it is, this is a bit of fun with a very serious edge. The next few months look as though they could be very interesting indeed my friends....
Apologies if this first entry is brief and vague, but I only got told I can do this today. I will write a longer explanation of who I am, where I am, and anything else I can say next time. Previously I have agreed to not attempt to make any outside contact. I haven't tried, but even if I had I've no doubt my signal would have been intercepted. I've not met my alien hosts and I'm beginning to doubt I ever will. I want to stress I am up here VOLUNTARILY. I am 36 years old and made my excuses to my close friends and family and went off after being invited. The contact I first had was with who I thought was a human (and who I can only now assume was not, as I'm told I'm the first terrestrial being to have been made contact with. It's an enormous enormous honour without doubt). I am on my own vessel close to a small-sized fleet of vehicles. I am looked after by an automaton whom I have named Jefry - the last song I heard on Earth was a Pixies song which has the line 'Jefry with one f', and it stuck in my head. Jefry is amazing - very friendly and open. He shares his mind with my ship, so I suppose he is the ship/craft/vessel/whatever (Jefry doesn't attach English names to things very readily, I suppose it's up to me to label things for myself, and I suspect they take great interest in how I do it) I don't have any windows in my craft (which is a fair size - maybe about as big as a 5-a-side football/soccer pitch) but the walls are able to produce any image like a versartile television screen. If I want I can make the walls seem to disappear so it looks as though all the funiture is floating in space near along with me. Alongside us is the planet Mars which looks absolutely beautiful. I've been staring at it for over 12 weeks now and I can feel no sign of ever getting bored.
My time is running short. We are connected to the Internet - it seems the best way the aliens can tap into human society - but not for very long periods (well, not for me anyway). Obviously I don't expect many peole to read this. It is more of an excersise for me really; maybe this blog will become well known and people will wonder if this is made-up or not; or more likely assume it is. Either way I'm not expecting shockwaves to be spread around the world upon the publication of this like there should be. But this is just a bunch of words on an Internet site - like science fiction I suppose. Even I doubt if this is real sometimes - maybe I'm caught in a bizaare experiment and I'm in some lab in Birmingham somewhere. Fuck, if that's true there have been some amazing developments that are being kept secret. I wish I could publish photos; but then perhaps this wont look like a story any more and will make more of a splash than my hosts would like. As it is, this is a bit of fun with a very serious edge. The next few months look as though they could be very interesting indeed my friends....
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